My Teenage Girl, an MBC Idol Survival show brought to you by "Produce is wholesome pornography" Han Dong Chul, finally aired its first episode last week. And though AJ seeks to protect my fragile mind from more exposure to this cursed genre of television, to his chagrin I'm back on my bullshit. Because since the first episode has generated news about Soyeon being extraordinarily catty towards some marginally-talented contestants, I had to go and watch the first episode just in case it was something that needed to be covered thoroughly.

Last time on Street Woman Fighter we saw Lee Chaeyeon and the rest of the WANT team lose to LACHICA in their elimination battle. Even though arguably the biggest draw for the show is now gone, enough personality remains in the rest of the cast to keep us entertained for the last few episodes.

I have to hand it to Mnet, even with dogshit ratings and the walls bearing in, their ability to pull a shit-show out of a hat far exceeds any of …

We are at long last in the final lap of our hectic journey through the cosmos of Girls Planet 999. For some contestants, Mnet has made it's intentions very clear, but for others, the future remains murky. Furthermore, the interim results for the final week of voting have completely torpedoed any sense of rationality remaining in the show. So without further adieu let's get on with it.

After the second elimination, it's time to recalibrate the groups. Team "U+Me = Love" is down to four members: Sakamoto Mashiro, May, Kotone Kamimoto and Zhou Xinyu. While Sakamoto ranks in the overall Top 9, May barely skated in at 8th place in J-Group and both Kotone and Zhou Xinyu had to be rescued by the Planet Pass. But things could have been worse!

WayB is gone now and it's time for a new mission. The MEGA CREW mission requires each squad to recruit a gaggle of guest dancers and organize a big chungus dance performance. Again, both the judges and online votes will contribute to the results.

More Mnet translation shenanigans, plus the 2nd eliminations and one surprise departure.

The end of episode 3 found the crews pairing off to do battle against each other, with the sudden news that the first elimination would follow. With the added pressure of elimination and the feast / famine nature of the Class Mission, crews with negative points like HolyBang and YGX felt immense pressure to survive.

Our 40-years journey through the desert of idol survival continues on, now 45 trainees lighter. No time for sentimental feelings though, it’s time to start the next mission.

Episode 5 reveals the intended and unintended consequences of the cell system.